I Am Enough: The Overachiever's Secret

Walking in purpose. Finally believing it. 💛 Photo Credit: Shea Swinford

I had a revelation recently. Not in a therapist's office. Not while reading a self-help book. It came quietly, In the middle of a conversation, the way the most honest truths usually do. That realization is that despite my toxic trauma, I have learned that I am enough.

I think there is a specific type of trauma that turns people into high achievers.

Not because they have something to prove to others. But because they have something to prove to themselves.

For a long time, I could not have told you that. I would have said I work hard because I am driven. Because I have goals. Because I want to leave something behind. All of that is true. But underneath it was something I had not fully named yet.

I have often felt less than.

There. I said it.

Not worthless. Not incapable. But less than. Like I was standing just outside the room where I belonged, watching through the glass, wondering when someone would open the door. And somewhere along the way I stopped waiting for the door and built my own.

That is what high achieving from a place of trauma looks like. It is not loud or boastful. It does not need the applause, though the applause is nice. It is quieter than that. It is waking up and deciding that today I will be someone I am proud of. Not for anyone watching. For me.

I have been in rooms where I was the only person who looked like me. I have shared work that came from the deepest parts of my soul and been met with silence from the people closest to me. I have carried heavy stories: grief, loss, the things we do not say out loud and turned them into books that now sit on library shelves waiting for the person who needs them.

None of that came from a place of confidence. It came from a place of conviction.

There is a difference.

Confidence says I know I can do this. Conviction says I have to do this even when I am not sure. Conviction is what gets you to the finish line when confidence has long gone home.

I am an overachiever. But I am finally clear on who I am achieving for.

Myself.

And that realization that simple, quiet, earth shifting realization, has changed everything.

If you have ever felt less than and kept going anyway, this is for you. You are not overcompensating. You are not trying too hard. You are transforming. And there is nothing small about that.

With love and resilience,

Shannon Nicole

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Shannon Nicole is an author, speaker, and advocate. To read more of her work, visit her website or check out her books, 'The Long Goodbye' and 'Silent No More'.